Friday, February 25, 2005
Because drunk posts always turn out to be a good idea...I just wanted to say that I know my posts are often ambiguous, and because of that a majority of you probably think I'm referring to a particular person, which is sometimes true, but I don't think it ever occurs to you that a lot of the time I am NOT referring to said person.
Put it this way... in a language maybe only I speak. I've come to the definite conclusion that if I tossed all of my ambiguity into the Thunderdome... (You know. "Two men enter. One man leaves") well, if I had any say in it, which ultimately I do, I know which one would survive.
Sometimes things seem convenient and easy. And sometimes, given the proper care, that can grow into magical and lasting... but sometimes, given a lack of respect and understanding, it can turn into a nightmare. More often than not, despite what I tell myself, convenient and easy is usually just a distraction from the truth. And the truth is... I have my eye on the big prize.
There is magic out there. I've seen it. There is awe and wonder and amazement and inspiration. I have stood near enough to it to feel the electricity. And despite being told in no uncertain terms that my dreams are foolish and if nothing else... unrecipricated... there are just some things one cannot give up on.
I know it only matters to me. But I also know how much it matters to me. And that is an awful lot. There will be distractions. A lot. Some inconvenient... and other just convenient enough that they may become magical and lasting.
I have thought myself torn for so long, but I realize now... for now... I am whole.
I was recently told about a funny song title: "Existentialism on Prom Night"
I was also told the corresponding song was no good.
Tonight on the way home I heard this song that I really enjoyed. Very emo, but the music was pretty great. I caught a few lyrics so I googled it.
Yeah. "Existentialism on Prom Night"
Imagine my shock!
And yet, my utter unshock... because while there are some things we agree on in a very weird supernatural way, when it comes to media... we pretty much are polar opposites a lot of the time.
Also, I probably shouldn't be critiquing anything at 3am after a night with the dreamgirls at bdubs.
Sing me something soft,
Sad and delicate,
Or loud and out of key,
Sing me anything,
we're glad for what we've got,
Done with what we've lost
Our whole lives laid out right in front of us,
Sing like you think no one's listening,
You would kill for this,
Just a little bit,
Just a little bit,
You would
-Straylight Run
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
ooooooo... can we please have another Scrubs Soundtrack? tonight they played one of my favorite songs (There’s something that you won’t show
Waiting where the light goes
And anyway the wind blows
It’s all worth waiting for
-Windmills, TTWS
Monday, February 21, 2005
Here's an update to your social calendar, kiddies."Galactic Headquarters" (read: Bdubs) will be playing host to the Quarter Bouncers tournament this Friday at 7pm. What this means is we can do the same thing we do every other night in the same establishment, while watching people fight for a trip to Vegas by bouncing quarters into a cup. Fascinating.
Plus, one of the teams that qualified for a road trip to EL this weekend is in desperate need of cheerleaders. Or just some boozers who like wings and like cheering indiscriminately at moving objects. Also, it would be an opportunity for you to harass a different Mensan for a change.
So, plan on it. Jess, let's make t-shirts! hahaha Well, only if someone can come up with something really clever for me to wear across my chest. (g's comments need not apply)
An open letter to no one in particular:
So if you want to be with me
With these things there's no telling
we'll just have to wait and see
But I'd rather be working for a pay check
Than waiting to win the lottery
Besides, maybe this time it's different
-The First Day of My Life, Bright Eyes
I heard these lyrics on the way home tonight. It's true that a lot of times I come off as an instant gratification kind of girl, but I think anyone who truly understands my heart would see quite clearly that when I have my sights set on something, Persistence and Patience because my hyphenated middle name.
There were some kiddies arguing where I found the lyrics. Some didn't like the sentiment of "working for a paycheck" when to them the "lottery" was finding that one magical special someone. Fair enough, but you can earn just as much, and appreciate it even more, by working for it... and what happens when the jackpot never comes? It's interesting to think the "perfect" person is out there, but the truth is, I kind of prefer knowing that I have no idea what I'm looking for... allowing myself to pleasantly surprised by many characters that come in and out of my life. I like learning to love someone. That's the best part. I like to think there's a guy or two who casually dismissed me all too soon, and that someday one will take a second look and realize I am everything he never knew he always wanted.
I'm willing to do the work. Because the truth is, I already have what I need. I'm just waiting for you to realize that you already have what you need as well.
So I thought I'd let you know
These things take forever, I especially am slow
But I realized how I need you
Friday, February 18, 2005
What movie Do you Belong in?
Care of my token Mensa buddy who actually might be a Bwil clone as he got Rob Gordon from "High Fidelity" on the John Cusack uiz and Say Anything for this one. Let's face it... B will get Say Anything too.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
You're Newfoundland. You're not a complex person, but it's not because you're not intelligent; you just perfer the simpler things in life. You can work hard and bear harder misfortunes than most. It's too bad people underestimate you because you're one tough S.O.B. when need be.
What Canadian Province Are You?
I used to have a stuffed St. Bernard named Newfie that my grandpa bought me during a trip to newfoundland. So there. And who wants to place bets on whether or not Brian from Iowa throws the quiz to get Quebec? Anyone? Look, people... it's your money, but the safe bet says... YES, he'll get Quebec. And I'm only 75% certain it will be because he's an arrogant ass, and 25% sure it's because he just really wants to be from Quebec.
BTW, I found this quiz via Ani (who you may recall, though I seriously doubt you have the memory, bought my elephant "softie").
Advice for people who aren't me:
But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
While my heart is a shield and I won't let it down
While I am so afraid to fail so I won't even try
Well how can I say I'm alive
If my life is for rent...
-Dido
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
-I'm going to credit it to Moulin Rogue which will at least get "Hey, I've been there" points, though I like to think the sentiment comes from somewhere far more profound.
Man... I also had a really profound comment from a 5 year old about how people come and go but friends.... eh, screw it. You all got what you wanted: a semi-sober rambling post from your favorite hero.
I cannot explain to you how funny EVERYTHING is to me right now. and NONE of you are online to share the fun. suck. all of you!
Well maybe nothing lasts forever
Even when you stay together
I don't need forever after, but it's your laughter won't let me go
So I'm holding on this way
-My Favorite Mistake, Sheryl Crow.
You live and learn.
Sure you can learn a lot from your mistakes... but that can be a bitter effing pill to swallow. And the simpler the lesson... the tinier the "mistake"... it's just all the harder to swallow. I'm not one for regret, because things work out one way or another... and this will too. It's just too soon to know HOW it will work out.
So for now it seems I do have a bit of regret stuck in my throat.
And I now also have to endure your jokes involving the word "swallow". 2pts for clever ornithology references.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
It never fails that when I have the most profound things to say, I am too busy to write about them. When I find I have the time, the moment has passed and I'm not sure anything I can say matters.So there. You get that much out of me.
Let's see what else I can eek out. I thought Prom was a raging success, if only because, in the paraphrased words of Mr. Matthews, it's not where but who you're with that really matters. Plus I was in a prom dress. with a tiara. and let's certainly not forget the corsage. I don't have my pics up yet, but g is on the ball as always. Plus he has a wicked good picture of me silently hating him. Yeah, you know what I mean.
The best birthday present any girl could ever ask for is to be able to spend a week with her best friend who she adores and misses far too much when he's not around. I don't mean to make you guys jealous, but my best friend is WAY cooler than yours. It's true. I had absolutely the best week, and I hope he did too. It was fun for me to be able to introduce people who have only heard about eachother, or perhaps read eachother's web pages. God, we're all so lame. And it was fun to show him around and SO fun to stay up all night talking about LITERALLY anything and everything. Plus, I can officially say I have no secrets from my best friend, which is a solid check off the Things To Do Before I Die list.
Mardi Gras was... well. It was nothing short of surreal, really. Pictures speak 1000 words, so here are several thousand words with which you can draw your own conclusions.
Um, some other stuff happened. But just those little things that aren't worth mentioning, or that are worth more than a mention. And plenty of the types of things I like to post ambiguously about, but under the circumstances far too many assumptions would be made. (But look how I managed to post ambiguously about them anyway! Hooray!)
It was an extreemly eye opening week in many ways and frankly between the enlightenment and the booze... My head is still spinning so I think this is all I can give you for now. I promise more pictures soon.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
"An Ode to Spot"
-Data, ST:TNG
Felix Catus is your taxonomic nomenclature,
An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature.
Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses
Contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses.
I find myself intrigued by your sub-vocal oscillations,
A singular development of cat communications
That obviates your basic hedonistic predilection
For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection.
A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents:
You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance;
And when not being utilized to aid in locomotion,
It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.
Oh Spot, the complex levels of behavior you display
Connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array.
And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend,
I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.
God bless the internet... and big words.
And yes, I know exactly how much this negatively impacts my sex life.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Which Star Trek TNG character are you?
If you know me at all, you will know (ok, maybe one person knows this) that Data is my favorite ST:TNG character. So I am thrilled that he is my number one match. (And yes, I did carefully remove two contractions from this paragraph.) In related news, today is Brent Spiner and Sarah G's birthday.
This less evolved quiz pegged me for more the Deanna Troi type. That's fine. I like her too... though I'm certain we were only matched because we both have no problem flaunting our nice racks. er... something.
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