Thursday, January 31, 2002
i have no words for how insanely hilarious and/or scary this is. i really don't.
some people are just evil...enter at your own risk
i worry a lot. i stress about things i cannot contol. i worry about what ifs and if onlys and all my contingency plans for all of the things that will never happen. i need to learn to stop stressing and get to the root of my problems like andrea.
i think a lot of my internal stress could be alleviated by realizing the outcomes of my inner wars are often irrelevant to reality.
Tuesday, January 29, 2002
oh, and i know you are all dying to know so:
yes, i wish OSU and Illinois could both lose, but i guess i want the illini to lose more. but i am NOT cheering for the buckeyes. i'm still harboring bitterness toward the buckeye fans from the '99 final four in st. pete. we spartans cheered our asses off for the buckeyes during their game against uconn, then when msu and duke took the floor the damn buckeyes cheered for DUKE! what the hell were they thinking? where's the big ten love, kids?
the real moral of the story is that the illini STILL aren't taking the big ten. poor kids.
do you ever get the feeling that you just don't belong? you just look around, watching people, and life, pass you by. you stand with the group and smile and laugh, but your heart is sitting in the corner, unable to relate. the more people there are in a room, the more alone i feel sometimes. i must have once known what it was like to be an important part of something... otherwise i wouldn't know what this is that i'm feeling now.
sure, i'm a new school in a new state and that is bound to take some adjustment... but it's not like this is an altogether new feeling. i don't think like other people think. i don't have the same goals or beliefs. i don't fit into anyone's little boxes. i feel anxious and restless, like i've been trying to go with the flow, trying to squeeze into some spot within the world and i just don't fit.
i guess everyone feels a little out of it from time to time. maybe once i find a new job and get settled into my schedule a little more i'll feel better. right now i just have too much time on my hands and that's never a good thing with me. sometimes the only thing worse than feeling lonely is actually being left alone.
Monday, January 28, 2002
a little something to think about:
would you rather have friends that like every little thing about you... who have no advice to give, only praise... or would you like friends who love you despite your annoying habbits, your flaws and quirks... your imperfections? doesn't knowing that someone doesn't think you are perfect make their compliments mean that much more? if they are able to hand you constructive critisism, maybe they are being honest about your assets as well. i guess what it all comes down to is: it would be easy to like someone who is perfect, but if people think you're amazing DESPITE your quirks, even beacuse of your quirks... that's a good thing.
and on a more specific note:
when you're rich and famous, all the world will adore you and worship you and put teeny-bopper pin-ups of you on their walls, but hopefully what i have to say will mean more, BECAUSE i think your alanis morrisette stinks.
Thursday, January 24, 2002
things are starting to fall into place. i am mostly unpacked and finally have some posters on the wall. it just doesn't feel like home without buzz lightyear and a bunch of basketball players staring at me.
my big one class seems like it will be alright and i even have a functioning bank account now. it's all very exciting. i've already broken in iowa citiy's new jimmy john's, and hopefully this weekend i'll get to B-dubs. ah, it's just like home.
Tuesday, January 22, 2002
the hardest thing about getting busy and taking a vacation from blogging is jumping back into it. i feel like i should catch you all up on everything that has been going on... because, well, i know how interesting it is to live vicariously through me. at the same time though, i really don't feel like rehashing the drama of the last month.
so i usually figure it's best to hop back in with my random links and thoughts and whatnot, and if stories of the hell that was december escape along the way, well... good for us, eh?
just a few things i have learned since we last talked:
Sunday, January 20, 2002
yay! for not invis*i*ble!
maybe more when i'm sober... probably not.
Saturday, January 19, 2002
here you go, kids:bonesucking.com
mmmm mmmm good
Thursday, January 17, 2002
so, i made it to not-so-sunny iowa city. i'm working on settling in to my ghetto new apartment. it's absolutely surrounded by fraternity houses, so that'll be... interesting.
we have a lot of catching up to do but until i get into a groove with my classes and stuff i may not have regular computer access, so we'll see how the updating goes.
ok, really, i have to unpack now. seriously.
Thursday, January 10, 2002
hey, kids! i'm coming to you live from disneyquest in 'sunny' orlando. just wanted to let you know i'm alive and will be in iowa by monday at which time i will be able to update more regularly again.
miss you guys!
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